Warning this might be a long post.

I need to get things out.
I'm not happy with everything and everyone.

I don't know what is my damn problem or is it really something is wrong
with everyone else.

Sometimes don't you feel that it feels so good to be with someone.
And when you want to tell them something you turn around
and see that they are not then.
That you are all alone.

This might be how i am feeling for the past few days.

I trust no one now but myself.
But I know that this cant stay for long cause i will fall and break into
tiny little pieces [duh not literally!]
but emotionally i will.

And I can't afford for this to happen
cause it is my o level year and in order to study
i need to be positive
but if i feel shitty no positive in there right?

Yeah so
I will pick myself up slowly and a new widad will be born.

Next topic
How do you build a relationship?
First you need another person
then you need trust
and honesty and yadayada bullshit stuff.

I know i may have not been honest about everything.
[oohh how ironic i was typing the above and i hear
" I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell i know right now you cant tell.. but stay a while and maybe then you'll see a different side of me." ]
yes but neither have you nor you nor you and the list goes on i guess. but its okay i am used to not knowing anything. I'm immune lah.

Yes i think I'm unwell
well obviously i have have been sneezing and coughing and all but still unwell if i get better.

OOOHH!! WE WON DEBATE!! wheee.
congrats to us and 4e5 you did well too!

k back
I want to run away and drown all my worries and stuff
but i cant can i?

I like being alone and I can survive being alone
cause you need to be an independent person.
you die alone remember?
but sometimes everyone needs change.
and I need a friend. I need you.

speaking of death.. I sembahyangkan jenazah
on Sunday and its not a relative [long story okay maybe not]
but when you think you don't have much time in this world.
and when its time for you to go its just time no regrets nor turning back.
So i shall be try my very best to be a good servant of god
and don't let all you SYAITAN disturb me. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

oh yeah i need you.
maybe not always but i need to know that your like a lifeguard
always on the lookout and waiting.

Another thing i need is time
if only you could buy time.
which is of course not possible.

and i need to go shopping!
MOMMY!!
where are you!?

okay I got to go another day another time.
Till then.